Sabotage

Do you have a friend who is relatively smart and talented, but just can't seem to do anything with their life?

I do. It's me. I'm a self-saboteur.

Right now (and really all day) I should be showering, getting myself all cute, and shooting a video to send to schools for employment. The agency actually told me to do it back in April.

I've been watching old episodes of Degrassi all day. I've been watching Canadian TV instead of trying to get myself a job. I have two job applications on the floor next to me as well. They've been there since last week.

It might seem like I'm just lazy or an idiot, but I'm not. I just can't do it. I'm sabotaging myself because I can't fail if I don't try. And if I try I will fail.

I see everyone else succeeding around me, and I don't understand why I'm so incompetent. I don't really understand how this whole thing works. I try to look for something, but I get so overwhelmed and I always seem to be getting into the weirdest situations.

How do normal people do it?! Get a job and carry on with life like it's so easy?

Well, I just redesigned the blog...

I was inspired by my Greek life big and good friend over at New Place, New Experiences to chronicle my new post-grad life.

That girl has got it together. I've always admired her for her ability to go out and grab whatever she wanted- and succeeding.

In comparison, I'm kind of a little pansy. School always came easily to me. Stick me in any class, and I'd do well. In fact, I'd excel.

Put me in any real life situation and I crumble under the pressure. I even panic when I have to order at Subway.

Point being, I have no idea what I'm going to do now... or, for that matter, what I want to do.

If I am capable of keeping myself from having panic attacks while doing it, I hope to chronicle my unplanned adulthood here.